A love so kind

I have been thinking a lot lately about having to leave my King[son] behind for the adoption  except I can't picture it in my mind. I can't picture me not kissing him goodnight, I can't imagine not waking up to him every morning. Just getting two sentences out about it has me sitting here with a bucket of tears. I know I have to leave King [the common cold could kill him] but I have never spent a night from him. He is my future, my hopes and dreams and I love him so much I can't even bring myself to imagine what it would be like to be without him. So  instead........

When thoughts of leaving my son goes through my mind

I see images of three beautiful children not yet mine

It starts to paint a future that is one of a kind.
A future of family, and feelings that everything will be just fine. 

What feels like forever will be a short time
It is sad but those kids barely exist

Wouldn't a mama and papa be so sublime
They would leave a world that will never be missed. 

The clings, the dings, the sounds of a distant choke

Looking, waiting, rocking, knocking
Dreams of future start to go up in smoke

A family coming would be so shocking 

I can't wait to show them a love so grand

I can't wait to kiss their faces

I can't wait to hold their sweet hand

Oh the thought and my heart races

The fears start to fade with this reality of mine

I start to get excited of the possibilities in mind

That is when I remember they too are mine

My sweet children will get to leave their pasts behind

My child at home will be just fine 

This is the only way they will all have a love so kind

UPDATE ON OUR ADOPTION PROGRESS

We submitted to USCIS in June.  For the country we are adopting from that means we are almost to the end. It took weeks for us to get an immigration officer but we finally got one to only find out that our social worker and agency had a mishap or confusion. They didn't get approval from our state which is required before the home study should have been sent to them. We had to wait on an official letter from USCIS and then the SW could submit to the state. The state has not sent the approval yet but it should be this week. We were set to travel in July if this mishap wouldn't have happened,  If I look on the bright side it bought us more time because we are not funded for all 3. Needing the approval takes an extra week in normal situations, but forgetting to have it sent in by the professionals has already cost us a month. We had an expedite and as soon as our state gets USCIS the approval we will then get approval from USCIS and be able to submit to our country.The thought of leaving my biological son here during sick season scares me very much. His disease causes muscles weakness so sever that when sick he can't cough, or breath on his own, and often sma children die because of a common cold. [Elizabeth also has SMA] she needs out now, she is dying.  We will submit to the country even without full funding due to our family circumstances, this means we wouldn't be able to come home with all 3 but I have huge amounts of faith and hope that funding becomes available so that we will be able to bring all 3 children home.. Our adoption is costing over $50,000 we are still $22,000 short to be fully funded.

Elizabeth has a terminal disease called spinal muscular atrophy just like my son King who we are leaving behind. She is our next child in sight. Her addition to our adoption is 13,000 in fees. We are still $8000 short.  

CHILDREN WAITING

There are many kids still needing a family.

Meet Phoenix he is a 14 year old boy but due to neglect and starvation he is the size of a toddler. This child was learning to walk until he was transferred to an awful institution where he will spend the rest of his life in a crib bed. He still has time for his family to find him.

A family for Phoenix

Meet Denzel, this boy has a smile that will light up your entire world, he is in great need of a family. He is in a very urgent state. He is starving and lacking any medical attention. He ages out in January he is 15 years old and the size of a toddler. Denzel needs a family or he will die in a crib. He has barely existed these last 15 years, he has never been held, or known the feelings of love. There is so much a family could give this sweet boy. 

                                                             A Family for Denzel

Meet Dawn, she is beautiful isn't she. This child is 15 years old and will age out on her next birthday. She was transferred to an adult institution at only 3 years old. She just started walking. She enjoys interacting with adults and playing with toys. Her favorite activities revolve around music which she rarely gets to enjoy. 

 A Family for Dawn

These are just 3 children, there are 100,000's of orphaned children, most given up by their family due to special needs. I personally have 3 biological children 2 of whom have special needs. They are a joy to my life and my reason to smile. Special needs children are truly special and a joy to have in your life, please consider being a family for those who have none. Many children are waiting from all around the world. Are you their mama and papa... Family for all

Almost in time is still to late.

I want to share something about my sweet Beth. She will be transferred in September to an institution that has a reputation of hurting little girls. Of all the unkind places in the country this institution has a bad reputation. They all are bad, so to be the BAD of the bad it is pretty scary. She will not see it coming. I can not imagine the lack of trust, the fear, the heartache, and the pain from the abuse my sweet girl is going to go through if i do not make it in time.

            Right now she is in one of the best orphanages with nannies that somewhat care. She is one of the lucky ones

This September they will do the transfers. My sweet beautiful girl will not be spared unless I come for her.

She will be transferred to a co-sex adult institution. Don't let the word institution confuse you, she will not get help, she will not get medical treatment, she will not receive therapy, and because she can not see she will be left in a crib for her remanding life. Many children do not survive this transfer, and die within the first year. This isn't new, and it isn't just my little girl, lots of little girls are being starved, raped, abused, and left to die alone deep in the valleys of the country side orphanages/institutions. She is headed to a rural area where she will easily be forgotten about. I mean out of site our of mind right.

I have a little girl at home, I'm sure many of you reading this do to, imagine them being dropped off in the deep country at a new home but lets not call it home, it is jail because she will never leave. she will die there, she will be abused, starved, and mistreated until  her fight is over.  Now you don't want to imagine that happening to your little girl but I am being forced to imagine this, and my sweet girl is on the road to the reality of it. No little sweet girl deserves what she is about to go through.  The most heart wrenching part of it is IT CAN BE STOPPED. 

I am willing to go get her, save her, love her, hold her close forever. Because of the price of the luxuries of coffee, chocolate, movies, special dinner, vacation, or just lack of care from society kids are suffering. she has a high risk of being transferred. I am trying so hard to get my children[3] home. Beth was our backup until something amazing happened... our social worker approved us for 3... This was a miracle for sweet Beth, she didn't have much time to find a family. But we are here, and we love her deeply. 

We should be leaving next month [August] to get our children but the only thing standing in our way is the extreme upfront costs of adoption. It isn't because of lack of care that we wait. Beth is our pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, child number 3 of our adoption. We have funded our first child who is aging out next month. We need 12,000 for each of our girls to be able to bring them home.. That is a total of 24,000 to save 2 lives. I imagine most cars on the road today cost more than that and almost everyone is willing to pay it and for a hunk of metal, this is a humane life, a beautiful life that was abandoned as a baby because of disability. 

She in all reality has been waiting forever for me, her mom to come save her from the wreckage of her life. Please help me help her .''almost in time is still to late.'' 

You can make a difference and give a tax deductible donation HERE

OR we have a youcaring page HERE

We also have an adoption auction going on HERE

My sweet Beth is not the only child at risk, all children need families, it is a natural right, they should not be left alone to die because of special needs. I have 3 biological children and this is my 1st adoption. I am not special but the kids are. 2 of my bio's have special needs and they are the biggest joy in my life, so much so that it took nothing but the knowledge of the orphan issue for me to say I WILL COME FOR YOU. The road to yes isn't that hard, and in most cases the only thing that stands between a child and their family is the upfront costs of adoption, mine will cost aprox 50,000. It is a high price but not for a life, in my case 3.  If you think you can say YES to love click HERE You will never regret it.