Thursday, December 29, 2016

He is not alone




This sweet young man is my son. I rescued him two weeks ago from the bondage of a Ukrainian orphanage. 
After the Revolution and gain of independence many soldiers came home with missing limbs and other disabilities. Leaders decided that seeing such people would bring sadness to the already weeping country. So they locked them away in institutions. 

It became the norm to not see such people in the public. 

A child born with a disability is often considered by society as a curse.  
So it is the norm for those children to never come home from the hospital. 
Or doctors have been known to give parents contact info so they can have their organs harvested. 
In the black market. 
In return the family will gain a small amount of cash. 

Children left behind will be in an baby house OR orphanage until age 5. 
At age 5 they are then transferred. 

To an adult MENTAL institution, often for disabilities only physical. 

85% of these children will die within the first year of transfer. 

What happens to the remaining 15%?
They hang on and wait. 

1.For Family. 
2.For LOVE. 
3.For Death. 

Generally #3 

BUT SOMETIMES THERE IS HOPE. 

Organizations such as Maya's hope provides caretakers and medical interventions to orphanages in Ukraine that will ALLOW it. 

Most think the kids are better left to die. 
Remember they are a curse. 
They are considered a vegetable. 

I found my son through Maya's hope. 

He was 1 of 4 special needs orphans that I brought to America yesterday. 

Meet Daniel. 



He will be 16 in two weeks and he would have became unavailable for adoption due to his age. 
I am so lucky to have found him in time. 

When I first met him he weighed 22lbs at almost 16. 

He was so drugged he was choking on his tongue and had no idea I exist. But I knew he existed. I saw Daniel. I saw my son. 

We took Daniel to the hospital right away when we landed so that we could address the very serious situation of Refeeding syndrome. His labs were VERY BAD but not as bad as I would expect from a child in such dyer situation.  Looking at him you would not believe he has survived such a life. But the truth is he has been in this nightmare almost his entire life. He adapted and this is his norm. He has non working shunts in locations that are not ideal. But we recently found out  they are causing no real threat and it would be more of a risk to remove them so they will remain. 
His hemoglobin was only 3 which low is considered 14. So he required an immediate blood transfusion. Of all his labs only his electrolytes were in normal range. Although all labs were severely  under normal range they expected them to be much much worse due to his visual state. No child in America would survive such low numbers. He on paper is barely alive compared to normal standards but this has became his norm and he has adapted to survive. He has been in this condition for many years. He did very well receiving the new blood and it brought his hemoglobin up to a still low 4.4 but it is good progress and his color is already starting to emerge. That is one positive step on a long path of recovery. 
He has gained a couple pounds already in our care. We have had him two weeks already but in Ukraine. If you have ever wondered what it would be like for a 5 year old child to be placed in an adult mental institution in a dark cold room starved, and  left to die..... look no more, I found him and it is very sad. But I couldn't continue knowing and do nothing. We brought him home and call him son. 


HE IS NOT ALONE IN THIS STATE OF DISASTER. 

The smell, sights, sounds and realization that MOST will never escape this state has left my heart shattered and it will forever haunt me. Most will not have a second chance like Daniel. We can't always expect others to do the right thing but you always can do the right thing even if it is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. You must be the change you wish to see or you can't expect change. Casting stones only builds walls. Walls only further hide the pain it doesn't erase it. I wanted to be so mad about the people who did this but If it stopped at being mad then I might as well be letting it happen too. Our boy is tough, he has survived. He is loved and love makes us stronger and I can't wait to share all the progress he will have in his future.


As I stated above there are others. Others who need you like Daniel needed me. If  you would like to know more on how to adopt one of these children please visit the Reece's Rainbow web site. There are many Special needs orphans listed from all over the world. All longing for the care and treatment they deserve. 
If your heart is lead specifically to children in Ukraine in the condition as my son Daniel I can give you more iformation but please contact me privately Here. We can be the change the world needs to see and you can make a difference in a life that is hanging on by the thinnest of threads. Every child deserves a family. Every child deserves love. 

Love
Makes
Us 
Stronger!






Monday, December 5, 2016

Magical moments

I can't share pictures of our kids until they are officially ours but we have had all 4 referrals and said yes to 4 worthy children.


First we met Elizabeth who shares the same diagnosis as my bio's. She is more beautiful and amazing than I could of ever imagined. She is perfect. And it turns out she has only been an orphan for just over 1 year. That means we found her not long after she was placed in an orphanage. Her mother did not give her up but she died at the very young age of 28. She is in an orphanage for typical kids and she is SO VERY SMART. We fell in love with her instantly. Everything about her is amazing, She was shy at first but warmed up to me really fast. She is a silly little princess who took only moments to take my heart and change it forever. 

AND. GUESS WHAT? She will be legally ours this Friday. YES. YES. YES. 

She hasn't had the fortune to have proper care and her legs are fixed in a bent position as if sitting on a chair. She struggles to swallow, and during the evening visits she is much much weaker than the morning. In the evenings it is hard for her to hold her head up so she rests her chin on her chest. She is a little chatter box and loves to sing and goof off.  We don't know what types of medications she is on or if she is being sedated but I would say something isn't right. It seems more than SMA causing struggle in the evenings, the difference is just to dramatic BUT. SMA does cause you to be weaker as the day progresses  I just wouldn't expect this much. Especially going by my own interactions with the disease and the knowledge that I have. 

 She is very lucky she is in an orphanage for typical children otherwise she would be bedridden, she can't move on her own at all.. She is almost 7 and has had no schooling. Her mom must have worked a lot with her. Her family is from the village far from the city and they were very poor but she was very loved. We kept the name her mother gave her which I can share with you as soon as she is our daughter legally. We decided to do this rather than giving her a new name because we feel her mom was a blessing and a very important part of her story. 

I was told that she is in one of the best orphanages in her country and I have to agree but that didn't stop them from leaving her wet clothing on her all day when she had an accident. It broke my heart to visit her later and realize they left her in those clothes, the smell alone was awful but when they swooped her away from us she was freezing from being so wet. This is why children need parents. They need someone who cares. REALLY CARES. 

We leave really early in the morning to travel to her region and visit with her. I can't wait to see her again. It has been two weeks now since we first met her. She had the choice in weather we would be her mama and papa and she is already calling us that. It brightens our hearts very much. I am glad she accepted us as her own but it must of been hard to give up everything she has always known and call someone mama who doesn't even speak her language.  And I am very thankful that she gets to be our daughter. Just 4 more days and she will be ours forever. This has been so emotional. I cry when I see her and I cry when I leave her. Leaving her is so very hard. And getting to see her makes me so happy I don't know how to contain the emotions I've bottled up for the past 9 months waiting for this time to finally be here. I;m so happy we are here doing this. It is the most rewarding magical thing I have ever been a part of. I encourage you all to ask yourselves this holiday season. Do you have room at your table for just one more... or maybe four. 

I can't wait to tell you about our other 3 special children....

to be continued..... 


Friday, November 11, 2016

Our adoption story


Last week we got an update on our boys. It has turned my daydreams into nightmares. Adoption isn't easy but it is worth it. Every life on this earth has worth. They have meaning.

 Have you ever wondered what it would be like for a disabled child to grow up with no mom or dad. NO ONE to care for you. No one to make sure you are fed. No one to hold you and keep you safe. No one to read to you  or teach you about touch and new smells. What if you were NEVER taken out of the crib. And from birth just laid staring at a dim ceiling. And this Never was a forever kind of thing where you spend your entire childhood  trapped in a body that doesn't even move and if it does you'd find yourself tied up. Only 15% of disabled orphans live more than a year in this Hell of a life. Because they DIE! Imagine the odds of surviving 2, 3, 4 years of this ....... Now 16 years. It seems almost impossible. What if it took 16 years before someone truly saw value in you and you managed to exist . 

This is what happens to unwanted special needs children, they simply exist. I am pro life and that means more to me that not killing the child.  I can show you what happens to those kids. And it will make you sick. I thought about sparing the world. I even told others not to share this picture after showing them in private. But the world needs to know... Everyone needs to see and do whatever they can to stop this from happening to kids. If we ignore it and keep it secret it will keep happening. 


I love this child. I see value in him and I know he deserves more than to exist. This child has survived the impossible. It is a miracle that he is alive. He is beautiful and deserving. And in less than a week I will travel to make him my son. He will escape the bondage. 


Do you all realize we leave NEXT WEEK?

I can FINALLY say we do! 

And as some of you already have heard Ricky is no longer available for adoption. This is the kid that started it all for us. We might not have met him but we called him our son. We anticipated him, got his room ready in our home and started dreaming about the day he would truly be our son. Sadly that day will never come. He has been transferred out of the orphanage and now is in trade school. He has never had any kind of freedom and it feels good. So good that the boy desperate for a family decided he was better off alone. I don't think he realizes that he only has a 15% chance to make it outside of the orphanage walls. 


  When I first commit to Ricky I was so lost. I had no idea anything about adoption. I searched on YouTube for hours hoping that maybe one video would have him in it and would give me a hint to where he was. I never found him in any videos but I did keep seeing two precious sweet young boys(Maya's Hope Cutie pies) Over and over I saw their beautiful faces and I felt their pain but I saw hope in the spark in their eyes and the smiles that lit up the rooms. It was a pain that dug to the deepest pit of my being coupled with a love that was like no other  It was almost to much to take. But I didn't know anything about them or what Maya's hope was. But they were cute little boys.   

One late night I decided to look through pictures of other children in the same country as Ricky and I stumbled upon Elizabeth. A child with the same disease as my biological children. A disease that kills more young children than any other genetic disease. I know to much about spinal muscular atrophy and  exactly what was going to happen to her. She will die. I struggled with those thoughts for months. It was a struggle that consumed me and I could see her when I looked at my own children. And then one night my son who has no muscle mass fell out of his chair and hit the floor. I tried to catch him but I was to far away. He was shaking and crying and he looked at me and he said Mama "why didn't you catch me. You are supposed to catch me." I am not sure what it was but I dropped to my knees and as I held my son crying... I realized that it is very rare that my son would not have anyone there to catch him but there would NEVER be anyone there to catch Elizabeth. She was not only going to die but she will die alone. As I held my son I knew I had to adopt her too. 


And then we saw Beth. I remember the day I first saw her video my husband grabbed the computer out of my hands he said'' Who is she?'' The way he looked at her was the way he looks at our daughter. A week later he came home from work and he said that he had to know she was safe and the only way to do that was to adopt her.

Months went by and we prepared our homes and our hearts for our family to grow. 

AND THEN IT HAPPENED. 

Someone posted on Reece's Rainbow about a boy... 
And the next day Another....

I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES!

Those were the boys that I had dreamt about , the boys that I cried for and fell in love with when I  had searched on youtube for Ricky. I was in such shock I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to feel. So I started advocating and sharing their story trying to find them a mama. As I learn more I realized that those toddler boys I saw were actually TEENAGE boys and one would age out in only a few months. My dreams of them became nightmares as I realized exactly their situation and the Hell they were living. I discovered that those cute sweet videos was a time from the past. Just two years had past and they had dwindled to almost nothing. It was  shocking to see new photos of them. What shocked me most was that they could be adopted and NO ONE was coming for them, and it was very obvious that they would die of starvation long before any disease/disability got them. As time moved closer and closer to the older child aging out I decided to secretly commit and I was starting the process to adopt them. We would come home with our 3 children and I would turn around and go right back for 2 more. And thanks to Reece's rainbow and their waiting child grants we were going to be able to do that.

But then I got an update on the boys It was very bad. I realized I would never make it. I didn't feel like they had any time to spare and so much could go wrong and us not get to go back as fast as I would hope. My heart sunk. It was a couple weeks later when someone reached out to me and told me that another family would like to adopt Beth. We also heard in the SAME week that Ricky wasn't sure he wanted to be adopted. My mama heart didn't know what to do but we decided to bring the boys home NOW  after talking to our social worker and getting the go to add a 4th child. Now we couldn't be commit to 5 children and only approved for 4 so we had to make a tough choice. We had two options. Give Ricky a chance to say Yes and hope with all our hearts he does and let the other family adopt Beth. OR.. Throw Ricky to the wolves and adopt Beth. The choice seemed clear.


Now that Ricky has said No. That means that we are only coming home with 1 of the original 3 children we had planned to adopt. What a roller-coaster. Oh how we LOVED Beth. Giving her up was one of the hardest things we have ever done. But if we were going to save the boys we had to make a choice.  It still hurts us deeply and I don't know if it will ever go away but I am not her mama. She will always have a very special place in our hearts. Her family is almost done with all their paper work and she will be in country to adopt her  before I leave with my children. She will have a big family and lots of siblings to call her own. We really wanted Ricky to say yes. I wish he would of said yes but he didn't. So what does that mean for #4



We had a backup child in mind encase something were to happen and we can't bring home one of our 4. Because honestly we just want to make sure we can do all we can  to help children find families and despite all the pain we can find happiness in knowing we can still help a child find a family. We are adding a child from Reece's Rainbow called Matt he is 5 and still in a baby house. His future was said to be bleak. Doctors said he would never sit up, and never walk. He can do both because he is in a great place where the Nannies and Therapists care but that all ends when a child turns 5. Matt would go to an institution like my boys where he could face a life similar to their fate. We truly believe that if you can help. You should help. so we are. I can't believe we leave NEXT WEEK for 3 sons and 1 daughter. Before the end of the year I will be a mama of 7! 

          
  



Seven. Worthy. Amazing. Children.  
We are still just under $4000 short of being funded to adopt all 4. 
We couldn't imagine leaving any child behind. Click Here if you would like to help. 
The Reece's Rainbow Grant account needs to read $19,000 and we will be fully funded. Currently 
it reads $15117.25 We have less than a week. 

Less. Than. A. Week. eeeK Mama and Papa are coming Loves.

If you would like to learn more about adoption or to find how you can help children find families 

EVERY CHILD HAS VALUE. 





Saturday, October 22, 2016

I have Winners




I am one step closer too. This giveaway raised almost $1000. That is a big chunk and I can't think you enough. I want to especially thank the people who donated items to this giveaway it couldn't of been possible without you.

I am sure you all want to know who won these amazing prizes. I wish I had something to give everyone but I am happy to say that I have something for a lucky few.  Thank you to EVERYONE who entered. Aprox 50 people entered this giveaway making up 100's of entries. It took me almost 2 hours to write all of your names and I will not forget you.


               Congratulations to the Grand Prize Winners 

                           Ipod Nano       Jennifer M. 

             Ninja Blender   Jenny P.
        
           ....... and other awesome prizes 
                    

              Afghan                Laurie H.
                
              Flower Quilt         Ivy A. 

              Cross Quilt           Ronna S

              Pick a Child          Hilda L.

              Painted stemware Samantha S.

              Wooden Box         Carol M.

              Designer Earrings Wanda L.

              Child's Purse         Tracy H. 

         ....... and both or our homeschool prizes

                      
                     Medieval Days Book 

              Pizza Math Book
   
       Idaho Neumans you won BOTH of our homeschool prizes. 


Thank you again for your  support and encouragement as we travel the journey of adoption. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have done. You are making miracles by helping families who adopt. We couldn't do this without you. THANK YOU!! If you won please email me at mactopian@att.net



          





              




                    
                   
       




                                                   


       



Friday, October 21, 2016

We have our Dates!





I am to the moon today. I have re-played this morning over and over again in my head. Every time I just get a little more excited. I tried not to be to loud over the news because my kids were sleeping but by the time I was off of the phone with my facilitator they were all up and at my ankles asking '' what is it'', '' what is it mama?'' We have our travel dates!! Our first referral appointment is 11/21

My biological children go to Shriner's hospital for children every week and today is that day. I couldn't wait to tell our team there and lets just say the entire occupational and Physical therapy staff was cheering for us. They are excited to meet their new little ambassadors. Some of you may not know but my children are one of the many faces of Shriner's. The hospital has been behind my family since before our first diagnosis of spinal muscular atrophy. They help us with equipment, therapy, and give us a lot of love. My son is actually due for a hip surgery as soon as we return with the children. It is a surgery that hasn't been performed in the United states yet. We are going to be a busy family come the begging of next year. 

A lot of people have asked me if I am getting nervous. I have no idea why but NO. Not even a little. I feel that I am on the exact path I should be and all I feel is excitement. I will be the proud mama of 7 Amazing children come Christmas, and I couldn't ask for a better gift.

Now as you all might remember we are having a pretty awesome giveaway that I said I would end when we get our dates you can check it out in detail just click  HERE ! I will draw at 9pm Eastern Time and announce the winners Tomorrow 10/22.  Don't miss your chance to win an Ipod, Ninja blender, or many more. Each Ticket is $5 or $20 for 5. We still need $5,700 to be fully funded. When THIS ACCOUNT reaches $16,000 we will be funded.





Thursday, October 20, 2016

What is your excuse?

I am anxious with much  determination
The thoughts that run through my mind are atrocious
I couldn't imagine the torture, the isolation
fears, loneliness, neglect!
 Imagine the neurosis
I have never heard of  such situations
At who's hand were these lives dealt?
No compassion, no action, for sure no satisfaction

speaking the truth isn't enough
beings of the world have became so selfish
I was taught differently
thoughts of myself  isn't what I relish
Love is selfless, beautiful and sweet
It shouldn't be earned or a special treat
love is pure, honest, NOT bleak
It IS something free to all
something that should not make us fall

Yet love is held captive
 treated like it isn't for the faint of heart.
Many say you must love yourself first
giving  up before they even start
Statistics speak the truth, and it makes my heart want to burst
people of the world for so long have only loved themselves

If just 1 in 500 would adopt there would be no orphans
Instead millions of children are left alone or tortured.
Hundreds of thousands will never see age five
They will die from a neglectful horrible life.
But we sit here loving ourselves because we are told by many...
it is what we must do

You will not hear excuses of why I can't
You have to be the change you wish to see
This isn't just a normal 'ol rant
Children are dying and you shouldn't be sitting there not trying.

Love matters
set yours free
you will see how beautiful the world could be
no more excuses

PLEASE CONSIDER ADOPTING A CHILD OR HELPING THOSE WHO WILL

We chose to adopt special needs children. All children without families need a family but in some countries the disabled are thrown away and hidden. Locked in dark rooms because their body has failed them. Lets not fail them too. There is lots we can do. To find out more about adoption click HERE.


Here are some beautiful faces needing loving families like yours.



This is Waniya she is so smart and so sweet. She has difficulty walking and needs a mama and a papa to get her the therapy she needs to improve. She is really amazing and there is even a video to prove it. She would thrive in a family click HERE

This is Morris he is so little but actually at great risk of aging out soon without ever having a family. He seems like he would thrive with a mama. Could he be yours? Click Here He is eligible for a $10,000 adoption grant.


Just look at this amazing little Andre. He will bring you more love than you could ever imagine. If he could be scooped now he would not have to live the awful life he has in store. If you run to him he might not even remember a life without you. Click Here. He has over $1000 in his adoption grant.


Meet Clementine. Isn't she just a ray of sunshine. She could really use someone to protect her from the life of what will be if she isn't adopted. In her country she will have a 50% chance of living in a life of prostitution. She very likely will not have a choice. Someone go scoop her while she is young and show her her real value. Click Here



Oh the ever so mr. amazing. Look at that smile. He is ready to lighten up anyone's life. He needs special care because his body has failed him but you don't have to. He has grant potential with a family but if left where he is his daily struggles can not even be imaginable to your mind. He will be left alone, hungry, and afraid. He is in great need of a family NOW. See Quinn. Is he your son? Say Yes!! Click Here


Oh this beautiful little red head. Meet Zoey, If I wasn't already bringing home 4! She has so much potential but instead she stays in that crib 24/7 and will never leave. She can't swallow so she needs a tube to feed her. She would do great with a g-tube instead. She needs medical care and love and a special wheelchair so she can move. She is worth it. She will thrive. Are you the one who will save her? Please say YES!. Click Here






There are MILLIONS of orphans around the world. It blows my mind that we could have ZERO if just 1 in 500 would say YES, OR help someone who will. What is your excuse to do nothing? What gives their life less value? We should ALL be doing something to help the children. My excuse was money. I didn't have enough for the Huge upfront costs. I have the daily needed to provide but that wasn't enough. SO I asked for help. I started a blog, I applied to any grant I qualified for. I spread awareness and love. If you can't adopt be one of those who GIVE. It is because of those people that I am bringing home 4 children. Those people GAVE and now we are less than $6000 from fully funded. You do not have to adopt to help. But if you can you should.  Thank you to everyone who helps those who adopt, and thank you to those who adopt. It is because of you that lives are changing. I hear often that I can't save them all. No I can't,not alone. But I can alone save 1 child... or 4. Be the change you will to see.




Thursday, October 6, 2016

Be the Change

                                                             

There is a family.

They are in need. 

Will you be the change they need to see?



When I started my adoption for our 1 child I had never considered adoption. Honestly! I surely didn't know about the cruel things that were happening to children in Eastern Europe. It was that realization that made us leap so fast. 

I joined a few Facebook groups focused on adoption. Right off  I notice a family that stuck out to me. They were adopting 4 children. 4!! I though they were crazy. Turns out they are not the ones who are crazy. It is those letting children suffer who are. How could we know that evil is among us and turn a blind eye. How can we let bad things happen to children? Humans have found a way to put the things that doesn't tangibly affect them out of sight, and out of mind. But it doesn't meant it still isn't happening. The family I speak of they couldn't not know once they knew. Children are being starved, beat, raped, and killed. They are being locked in cages and tied to their beds. Disable children are starved because they are not as worthy, they are left to DIE.

After learning more about the family I learned they had already adopted before.. Just once... But they brought home 4. My mind was blown again. 4! As I dug deep into the adoption world I began to understand the WHY? I actually added a child to my 1, then another, then another... If it wasn't for this family I might not have saw my own strengths, but they made me SEE. Not only did I see that I too could bring home 4 but I saw the WHY? I am bringing home 4 because others are not. I can not save them all, no one of us can. But you can't expect change if you are not willing to be a part of that change. IF you are not adopting you should be doing something. How can you know and just forget? Any one of us could have been born in that situation but we were not. We were born into a situation where we can help. But it is so easy not to. It is just as easy to hit the SHARE button on adoption stories as it is to scroll past. Most scroll past. I know this because children are still suffering. If 1 in 500 would adopt there would be no more orphans but instead there are MILLIONS. We need your help.

Now I have a very simple way for you to help, And it is a dyer NEED.. I say dyer because 4 of those children that are being starved, beat, caged, and tied up have a family so close. They have their travel dates and leave in a couple weeks. They were almost funded and they travel SOON. BUT because of a change in location of one of the children they plan to adopt their fees just jumped over $10,000 more. They only needed to raise $5000 more and that was in reach. They will have extra facilitation fees, and extra travel etc. Now imagine this...... a family who has fallen in love with 4 children who are in situations that would give you nightmares are told they have to choose to let 1 child stay in that nightmare. OR come up with $15,000. Please read about their story HERE. PLEASE HELP THEM. HELP THE KIDS. Be the change you wish to see. Be LOVE strong...Are you willing to give up 1 luxury to give a child something that should be a born right... Freedom?? Can you be the change??

                                                          The children


Amos
                He will spend the rest of his life in a cage, and for no good reason, he is kind and sweet. He will     never get out, He has already aged out and the blooms are his last chance.


                                                                           Daisy

                     Daisy can't care for herself but the orphanage doesn't care for her either. She will be                institutionalized forever and will not be available for adoption due to a facility change but the family coming will make it in time to save her.

                                                                         Violet
                  She is such a lovely little girl. The place she is at will not accept any outside help. They are              known for kids not getting enough food or stimulation, and the treatment isn't the best.

                                                                       
                                                                                Lee
Lee is with violet but in the bed ridden ward. He is 13 and has never left his crib.Although he can't move he is often  punished with violence. He has a terminal diagnosis but he will starve to death long before that unless he gets out. 


ALL FOUR OF THESE CHILDREN CAN BE SAVED!