Broken wings learn to fly

Two weeks ago our sweet boy Dryden spent his first birthday in a family. It was very low key because his sweet little self was so damaged by Ukraine. He was scared of people who live outside of the home and he would self harm from something as little as eye contact from an unfamiliar face so low key was perfect for him.

We decorated his room, and basically just loved on him all day. All of the children love birthdays(what children don't?) and they were so excited that Dryden would have his first. My oldest bio spent almost all day by his side, Dryden holds a very special place in his heart. And Dryden has a special love for all of the children in the home. He would let them climb on him, snuggle him, feed him, touch him. He put trust in them. They didn't have to build the relationship and work so hard to show him he was finally safe. It was like he just knew they were his very special army. It was adults who had failed him and I will never understand why special needs children get the treatment they do in Ukraine from the adults who should be protecting them. He spent 14 years secluded and tied to his crib. Never held, never loved. I'm so thankful I could change all of that. He deserved it.

 It is so devastatingly sad that it took 15 years for someone to see his worth and celebrate his life. I will always be bitter about that. ALL children deserve LOVE without wait. ALL children deserve a family.

My husband fly fishes and that day he came home with the most beautiful hand tied fly. Papa was  excited. He told me ''look what I got Dryden for his Birthday''. I was confused. A fly! Really! my husband beamed. He said you can hang it from somewhere in his room for him to look at he might never use it but ''MAYBE he MIGHT''. This is the kind of hope we hold. We want to turn mountains into rainbows for our children and we hoped that just ''MAYBE'' one day he would have his rainbow. We believe in him. When we adopted him he couldn't sit up, crawl, speak, or really move very much independently but all of that changed. Amazing doesn't even begin to describe it.

                                                        Our sweet boy on the move

We are so honored to have gotten to share his Birthday with him. We are blessed to call him our son. He waited his entire life to feel something he should have got from the start. Something we give him everyday. LOVE. He became stronger with that love, he even started learning words, he began to crawl, and was eating by spoon. He was improving every day and he gained a smile that could light  up any one's world.

The next thing I will share is very difficult for us. It is hard to write  because I don't want it to be true. I have spent the last week trying to convince myself that there is no way this can be happening, but it is.  I don't want to have to share this very sad devastating  news but you all deserve to hear because you loved him too.

Our hearts are shattered to say that this was the ONLY birthday Dryden will share with his family because two days later on May 18th Dryden let go. Our broken boy grew the most beautiful wings and flew from this tainted earth that caused so much suffering.  It came unexpected and that only adds to the hurt.  We loved him so very much and feel very blessed to have the almost 6 months we had with him but it wasn't enough. From the moment we knew he existed we knew he was ours and we really wish we could have spent a lifetime with him. We have two biological children with a terminal disease but I have never lost a child. Loosing a child is by far the hardest loss anyone can go through. He was so perfect and amazing and I spent so much time filling my life with his. He was a special kind of special. He was so loved and so cherished and is very missed.

Mama, Papa, and all your brothers and sisters will always love you. You will always be our sweet amazing boy. NOTHING can replace the love you gave our hearts. We are forever grateful to hold you in our hearts. Fly high our sweet love.

Papa and Me

Oh papa you make me laugh

Happy hands

Cherished

 

Sitting without support

 

Mama and my Brother

Independent little man

He loved his pillow

In his big boy chair

Loved

Beautiful Boy

Story time, always one of the gang

His favorite spot

Siblings at play

Sweet dreams buddy.

''Not all of us can do great things but we can do small things with great love''

-Mother Teresa