First I want to say that my experience with the younger two is very different from the older two children I adopted. They are both very different than the other kids as well as in themselves. So I am going to do a blog post on each.
Bogdan(aka Boggle Woggle)
Oh this boy is a spit-fire. When we adopted him he was not much bigger than a 2 year old.(he has already shot up some) He is 5 years old and was abandoned at birth. He has fought his entire life to get where he is today. He was left at the hospital by his mom who had aborted the previous recent pregnancies. She drank adult beverage while carrying this beautiful boy in her womb. He was born prematurely and spent the first 3 months of his life in a hospital before being sent to an orphanage. It was there where all hope was lost. It was said he would never talk, never sit up, never amount to anything. That was until one day a special person stepped through those doors and saw a special boy behind the still body. She worked with him as his PT and soon he was sitting up. Sitting up turned to crawling, and soon he was walking. She had hope for the boy. She told him that one day a mama would come for him because he was special. She had to leave her job at the orphanage and the boy was left with only hope. He couldn't walk without support anymore when we adopted him but he will get back to where he was and more. Bogdan was lucky that one person saw past his DX and saw a boy. It changed the course of his life. But when we got to him he was still so very damaged. He had no idea what it was to play with a toy. He didn't know how to play on any of our playground equipment. He didn't know how to blow his nose, or wipe his eyes. He couldn't get dressed or brush his teeth. He seemed very unaware of what a toothbrush even was. He got really scared if he needed to use the bathroom, he would even try to hold it in when placed on the toilet and cry and say don't when he started going.(he still gets scared when he has to go to the bathroom and wont tell me) He was so skinny and hungry he would regurgitate his food to save and hide it for later. Every moment he wasn't being entertained he rocked. If he was laying, sitting, standing... constant self soothing and if not physically directed into doing something he rocked and sat in the same spot for hours(I think it would of been all day if left to it). At first he wouldn't let us hug him. He had to be taught about hugs and kisses, and still he just plays out the actions, he doesn't yet feel them, he has no idea how to love or what it is but he is learning. He does know how to manipulate and twist a situation to benefit him. He knows how to follow and do what he sees. He knows how to act to please people, he knows how to survive. I see him using his survival skills everyday. A lot of it perceived as manipulation because that is exactly what it is and how he had to survive against abuse and starvation. Some of it perceived as wooing but also for survival. He is said to have sever learning disabilities but I can tell he is very smart. He hadn't been taught even the basics yet so he was like a mobile 1 year old when we adopted him but already two months home and I would say he is more like a 2 year old already. He will catch up to his peers in no time. He has mild CP and FAS, vision problems, AND potential. I am so happy we added him to our adoption. He was headed to a very bad place, an adult mental institution where he would live the rest of his life, deteriorate and be forgotten. He didn't deserve that.(No kid does) the PT at his orphanage was right. His mama would come one day.(Lucky Me) I am so thrilled we got to him in time because he was due to be transferred, and I am so thankful the PT took special interest and helped him start to be all he could be.
So what is it like in the mental institution. Well is sucks so bad that generally there are enough beds to fill the next round of kids every year at transfer time.(yes that many kids are dying) I saw first hand kids being left alone for hours tied to their beds. I saw their bones sticking out from their skin. I smelt the urine and poop that was left in the diapers the Nannies were not cleaning. I saw misery, lack of care, failure, loss of hope and neglect. One thing I saw NONE of was love. There wasn't someone there who actually loved the kids. They are treated like animals, and not even those we call our pets. To think of Bogdan going there I can't do it. To know that there are so many kids that will, it breaks my heart into a million pieces. Bogdan has the smallest room in our house but it still has room for a brother. Compared to the places that I saw, there will always be room for just one more. So please do the kids a favor and ask yourself are you willing to give life to one more. I adopted 4 and I gave up a lot but what I gave up isn't even comparable to what they would of lost if I wouldn't of came to them. There are so many Bogdans in the world. "Diamonds in the rough." One day Bogdan will have a job, live on his own, maybe give me grand kids.... but he will not rot away in an institution and that alone is worth adopting him but we got much more, we love him. He has made my home a better place.
About Bogdan NOW.
He loves toys. He likes to sneak into all his siblings rooms early in the morning and get his favorites(of theirs) and bring them into his castle bed where he reigns. He likes to slide, swing, and play on the round-about. He likes to look at books. He is now potty trained (mostly! We are dealing with past potty trauma but he is doing great) He really likes our dog, and LOVES all of his freedoms. He fits right in with all the others and my almost 4 year old daughter is his best friend. They are constantly up to something together. He has some attachment issues but is starting to form a true attachment to her rather than just going through the motions like he does the rest of us. It is so beautiful. He has started telling me he loves me, he tells all of us but I'm not sure he truly understands what that means yet. I can't wait for it to hit him. He is going to really grow in who he is when it does. He craves no affection yet but he doesn't seem to mind when it is offered now, he lights up. He is doing so good in a family and I can't wait to see what every tomorrow brings for him.
Bogdan the day we met him.
He has already grown so much.
There are so many others just like him needing a mama.. to just be a mama. It is all Bogdan really ever needed to thrive. please visit Reeces Rainbow today. Your child might be waiting.
Our Boggle Woggle
waits no more.